little black raincloud.

Today I've just been in a funk. I can only describe it as having "woke[n] up on the wrong side of the bed" - because I've just had this little black rain cloud over my head the entire day so far. I can't really seem to shake it.

Perhaps this is the "third week letdown" of NYC. I had all these nice successes, and now I feel slightly stagnant. I haven't booked the job I thought I did (yet? So far it seems like they haven't made any calls) and although there have been many amazing fun moments... I feel like today I can't quite grasp the joyous feeling I had been having lately.

It was a rough morning, to begin with. I finished my catering gig late last night, felt really stupid when I forgot the R train stops running at midnight during the week... So I wasted a half hour waiting for a train that was never coming. Then had to walk (on my already achey feet) to another station at 1:30am... To then wait another 15 minutes for an E train. Luckily, that one made all local stops - so I walked in my door at 2:20am.

Of course, that doesn't bode well for a 9am sign in call for an audition later that morning. When 7am came, I could barely move. I don't even remember hitting snooze. But I got up at 7:30 finally. Only to find that our one bathroom was occupied. For the next hour and some change. So I had to brush my teeth in the sink, so my hair blind, change blind, do my makeup blind.

I made it onto the subway for my first time during morning rush. It was DISGUSTING. I was constantly bumped and rubbed up against by strange men (and women) and subject to body odor. (Ashley, you weren't kidding about smelly subway goers)

Finally made it to Pearl at 9:20... To sign in as number 148. By the time they got to 90, they cut us down to singing 8 bars only.

I felt like I never had a chance. I wasn't even nervous when I went in. That's never a good sign.

But I did well. I sang well, emoted well. Now I'm enjoying some French Onion soup while I do some work (I really couldn't stomach another meal of PB&J, ramen or Mac and cheese after today)

It seems a bit brighter after having seen all of the auditions I might be good for over the next few weeks. But still, a part of me only wants to go home and curl into a ball in front of some chick flicks.  The other part misses my California BFFs - you'd all know how to cheer me up.

Miss you guys... Check in with you tomorrow when the skies clear up again after I get out of Cranky Rain Cloud Town.

xoxo, Jennifer.